Wednesday, May 30, 2007

slip and fall

Couple sue Wal-Mart over slip in vomit

Why are you walking through vomit? Couldn't you smell it? Was the spill that massive that you couldn't avoid it? Did the vomit suddenly appear? If you slip in a family member's vomit can you still sue?

Mr. Creosote, Monty Python's The Meaning of Life

Monday, May 28, 2007


At the same time that the Travel Channel was telling me that, South Beach is Florida's number one beach I open the Boston Globe's nation page to this headline, "Two men shot to death at Florida's South Beach".

R.I.P Horatio J. HooDoo

Charles Nelson Reilly, 76; Tony-winning actor

AP via the LA Times


Saturday, May 26, 2007


The insanity on the free vee Thursday made me feel like I was in a Philip Dick novel.

The local LA news station was alternating between coverage of the capture of Reggie, a former pet, now fugitive alligator that had been hold up in Lake Machado and the Iraq War budget. Every politician in LA gathered at zoo to await Reggie's arrival. City Councilman Tom LeBonge, appeared drunk as he crashed ABC News 7's interview of fellow council member Janice Hahn. I'm not saying it was booze maybe he was flailing around and waving his arms due to the excitement of Reggie's capture. The city had after all spent over one hundred thousand dollars trying to capture the reptile.

Councilman LeBonge

Councilwoman Hahn celebrates after the allusive Reggie's capture

Meanwhile, the Air 7 helicopter was following the animal control truck containing Reggie as it circled the zoo's parking lot trying to find out where to offload Reg.

~"The driver is looking for where to offload Reggie. David & Ellen back to you."

~"OK, we'll be back. We promise a shot of Reggie."

~"Back to serious news. A family is devastated . . ." A story about a Torrance man killed in action in Iraq followed.

~"The truck carrying Reggie has stopped. Let's go to Bill Thomas in Air 7."

It was a few minutes before they pulled Reg out.

Inane banter

~". . . interested to see how they pull Reggie out of here."

The removal when it finally came took all of three seconds and you couldn't make out Reggie.

~"That was the money shot."
~"We were expecting a better look."

After all the build up, the only thing worse would have been if Reggie's chauffeur had pulled into a covered garage.

Despite the letdown, the news producers decided to stay with Reggie.

OK, now we'll focus on the open door they took Reggie in through. Remind the audience about the ninety day quarantine that Reggie is facing.

In other news, Lake Havasu is going to be 105 degrees on Memorial Day. Don't forget the sunscreen.

It's a little known fact . . .

that I played Cliffy on Cheers & Major Derlin in The Empire Strikes Back

Thursday, May 24, 2007


Here are some pictures that never got posted from before operation east coast.

Macy's Day balloon outside of Sony Studios in Culver City

The Brewery Art Walk

Psycho Girlfriend, "have combined their creative ideas into a unique medium that focuses on “wearable art” pieces made from unusual materials."

The sign you can't read says, Free Snack. The snack in the pink dish? Live meal worms.

Not part of the art walk but art nonetheless

Wednesday, May 23, 2007

world geography

I now have a 1982 Rand McNally Illuminated Globe. Every home needs a globe. I'm going to need some white out. There have been some adjustments in world geography since 1982.

The former Union of Soviet Socialist Republics now Estonia, Latvia, Lithuania, Belarus, Ukraine, Moldova, Georgia, Armenia, Azerbaijan, Kazakhstan, Uzbekistan, Turkmenistan, Kyrgyzstan, Tajikistan, Russian Federation

Yugoslavia come Slovenia, Croatia, Bosnia Herzegovina, Montenegro, Serbia & The Republic of Macedonia

Czechoslovakia split into the Czech Republic & Slovakia

Yemen and the P.D.R. of Yemen are now united as Yemen

East Timor formerly part of Indonesia is now calling it's own shots

Kampuchea present day Cambodia

Myanmar formerly known as Burma

future celtic ?

Yesterday, I saw seven foot two Chinese basketball player & likely NBA Lottery Pick, Yi Jianlian walking from the Venice skate park to the name on a grain of rice shack.

Tuesday, May 22, 2007


I got all ready to go the pool this morning to resume training for the Escape from Alcatraz Swim, when I drove up to the pool something seemed odd. There was no life guard in the chair, closer inspection revealed no water in the pool. The plunge is closed for repairs & maintenance until after Memorial Day. Guess I try a new pool this week.

Saturday, May 19, 2007

You say it's your birthday

It's my birthday too--yeah
They say it's your birthday
We're gonna have a good time
I'm glad it's your birthday
Happy birthday to you.

Yes we're going to a party party
Yes we're going to a party party
Yes we're going to a party party
~Birthday, The Beatles

I'm the fat one on the left. I'm not sure what my sister is doing.

Birthday roll call:

1890 Ho Chi Minh
1925 Malcom X
1945 Pete Townshend
1946 Andre the Giant
1951 Joey Ramone
1952 Grace Jones
1975 Lego

Pete, Grace & I will be getting together later tonight to celebrate our births as well as remember the Tauri we have lost. Can you imagine a party with the above attendees? I can see Malcom and Ho locked in philosophical debate all night, while Pete, Joey & Grace jam out and Andre drinks all the punch.

This day in history:

1856 Senator Charles Sumner (MA) begins his two day antislavery speech
1885 1st mass production of shoes (Jan Matzeliger in Lynn MA)
1962 Marilyn Monroe performed a sultry rendition of "Happy Birthday" for JFK
1977 "Smokey & the Bandit" premieres
1989 Sue Ellen (Linda Gray) last appearance on Dallas

Thursday, May 17, 2007

ghost in the machine

At a specific volume my external computer speakers pick up KNX 1070. There is no tuner in either my laptop or the speakers. I don't have even a rudimentary understanding of the science behind radio technology, so I have a letter in to Jeff Leavy, KNX's computer news reporter. His stated mission is to is to educate and inform his audience on how to use technology as its best tool.

today's beer

Dai Viet Dark Ale

Huong Sen Brewery
18 Tran Thai Tong, Thai Binh City, Vietnam

ALC. 5.9%

Available @ Trader Joe's in Southern CA, $5.99/six + CRV

The trip home

May 14, 2007

TSA x-rayed my banana. When the agent told me the banana had to go through the machine I thought he said the banana was OK.

"Oh, the banana is cool."
"No, the banana needs to go through"

The Connecticut State Police use Segways to patrol Bradley International Airport.

Daniel Baldwin was on my flight from Cleveland to LA. He was in a middle seat in coach. He didn't strike me as a car thief. When we landed he helped a woman get her oversized roller out of the overhead bin.

A passenger fainted in the aisle next to my seat. I asked him if he needed a stewardess. He grunted, "No, I don't feel good," staggered towards the bathroom and collapsed just outside the galley. The steward came on the PA, "If there is a doctor on the plane please come to the rear of the aircraft." Every conscious head in steerage turned around. The fainter was back in his seat and smiling before we landed.

Signs I grew up with

From 207 Leverett Road:


On the way to the three hole privy

Entrance to the privy

No pressure

America's patriotism and amazing willingness to sacrifice should never be abused.

Wednesday, May 16, 2007

The Pionner Valley - Western Massachusettes

April 30 - May 2, 2007
Part Deux May 6 - 14, 2007

Thanks as always to M & P & the Black Dog.

Things you'll never see in Los Angeles:

Honestly, it's on my birthday and I think I'd go if I was in town.

" . . . you noticed an ungodly stink."

This sign confuses me. Shouldn't the word wait be in there at some point or the last GREEN be changed to RED?

How anonymous is it if the meeting time is posted? My guess is that anyone drinking coffee and smoking cigarettes outside the North Congregational Church on Thursday night is a drunk.

A real snake in the grass

Puffer's Pond Dam

I went to the Atlantic Ten softball tournament. Umass beat St. Louis for the title. The highlight was a fence clearing (both fences) grand slam by Umass infielder Stacy Cullington.

From the University of Massachusetts Athletics Website:

"Massachusetts (37-12-1), the hottest team in the nation, hosts a NCAA Regional for the second straight year this weekend at the UMass Softball Complex. The second-seeded Minutewomen take on No. 3 Long Island (33-20) Friday at 4:30 PM. UMass takes the nation's longest winning streak (26) and home winning streak (32) into the weekend."

Pizza Night

The cat had a bit of trouble with his tail. Not to worry, he's on the mend. I told him he was lucky they didn't put a cage on it.

The family went plant shopping on Mother's day.


May 2-5, 2007

Thanks to the Vandervalks & the Hacklemans for their hospitality.

The Forty First President's house. My first bike ride in almost two years!

Up to no good at the Portland Sea Dogs game.

The Dogs fell to the Bowie Baysox, 7-3. Starting center fielder Jacob Ellsbury, who was leading the Eastern League(AA) with a .432 batting average was promoted to Pawtucket(AAA) after the game. The low light was a two out, inside the park grand slam by the Baysox's Luiz Hernandez. It was scored a single and a three base error after the right fielder pick up his glove as he was charging the ball and it rolled all the way to the fence.

Portland Head Light at Fort Williams Park

Provided it wouldn't cause any permanent damage, I'd like to try standing right in front of the sign for a horn blast.

We ignored the leash law so I guess the bride can slide.

Fort Williams Battery

Wonderpup aka Kona

A Deathwrap (Boneless buffalo chicken, bacon, cheese, lettuce, tomato & red onion) from Binga's Wingas. Reason enough to go back to Portland.

New Vocab:

tramp stamp
- n. A tattoo on a woman's lower back, often exposed by low riding pants and high riding thongs

open grill
- adj./n. Some food will be provided by the hosts, all are welcome to contribute to the feast