The Things Kids Write

I ran across some classics while I was cleaning out. Here are some vocabulary sentences from my hagwon students. The vocabulary words are in bold.

"No lady first lady second." - Owen, 4D

"I stopped smoking." - Danny, 11 years old

"School lunch yuck home lunch yummy"

Here's a reading comprehension question.

"Plants eat poop plants grew taller"

Mondays Have Purpose Again

I sprang for NFL Game Pass, again so I can follow the Patriots' march towards Arlington, Texas.

Nice first game for the Patriots. The first half was all Pats. The third quarter, with the exception of Brandon Tate's 97 yard kick off return, belonged to Cincinnati. New England only ran three plays in the entire quarter. The Pats defense appeared more than gassed and struggled to contain the run.

The Cats had a rough first half. Their first five possessions went: punt, punt, punt, fumble and interception. Cincinnati punter Mike Nugent (no word on any possible relation to The Motorcity Madman) was busy. Nugent's career long 54 yard field goal accounted for Cincinnati's only points in the first half.

Quotables

"Somebody say, "Hey guys, the season has started."
-CBS commentator, Phil Simms on the Cincy defense after Fred Taylor ripped off a 24 yard run

"Ochocinco . . . "

I was amazed with the ease that Chad Johnson's new legal moniker was rolling off both Simm's and his partner Jim Nance's tongues. I mean really, how can you take that seriously. Johnson definitely still has it at 32 years old, though a lot of his stats were accrued after the Patriots had the game in hand.

~"It'll get the crowd back into it, if they(Cincinnati) take it down and score."
-Phil Simms during a Cincinnati Bengals' drive

Um Phil, did you forget the game was being played in New England?

"Coach Cowher . . ."
-Jim Nance referring to NFL Today Analyst and Former Pittsburg Steelers head coach Bill Cowher

I suppose if you win a Super Bowl (Super Bowl XL) and have as much success (141-90-1) as Bill Cowher did you've earned the right to be called Coach in perpetuity but he's in the studio now and it strikes me as a little bit WWE.

UN: Fix This

North Korea's healthcare is a horror, report says
Barbara Demick, Los Angeles Times, 7/15/10

"Amnesty International finds that the country lacks sterilized needles, clean water and medicine. Patients undergo painful surgery without anesthesia, the human rights group says."

North Korea spent under $1 per capita on healthcare, the lowest in the world. The global average was $716 per capita.

The collapse of the healthcare system compounds the misery of a population that is chronically malnourished and suffering from digestive problems caused by eating weeds, tree bark, roots, corn husks, cobs and other "substitute" foods.

North Koreans are eating tree bark and corn husks, yet North Korea just leased it's squid beds to the Chinese for cash. Where is the cash going to be spent? According to the JoongAng Daily, it will be used to finance state projects.

North Korea leases out its squid beds to China
JoonAng Daily, 7/15/10

North Korea has been hungry for more cash to finance state projects, including a so-called Pyongyang modernization project that involves paving major roads, upgrading railway networks and refurbishing urban streets.

“Many of the North’s fishing boats are extremely outdated and are experiencing intense fuel oil shortages, while squid prices in China have gone up due to supply shortages,” the official said. “So each side’s interests have been satisfied.”

Why not swap access to the squid beds for a portion of the catch, other foodstuffs, fishing vessels or fuel oil?

Sad, Shocking, Appalling & Unconscionable

More from the Times and the Amnesty International Report.

. . . 47-year-old man interviewed by Amnesty International who also described paying a doctor treating his son for tuberculosis with 10 packs of cigarettes.

. . . her patients had to bring their own bottles if they needed intravenous fluid. Beer bottles were preferred.

. . . people often used illegal drugs, particularly "ice," a highly addictive methamphetamine that is manufactured inside North Korea.

"You do drugs if you have a cold, a stomach ache, for whatever is wrong," said the girl . . .

West Beverly High School

Beverly Hills students may soon be required to prove their residency
The school board has decided to expel those who have been lying about where they live under a plan to recertify every family in the 4,900-student district.
Carla Rivera, LA Times, 1/17/10

Sounds like Andrea Zuckerman, in Beverly Hills 90210.

From wiki:

Andrea was introduced early in season one as living with her parents in Van Nuys, from where she was secretly commuting (against school rules) to West Beverly High. She was using her grandmother's (Lainie Kazan) small apartment in Beverly Hills as her mailing address.

Photos of the Week

There's lots of web sniffing & sifting going on at the leg. Here are some photos that amused & intrigued me this week.


Federal Air Marshall training

Obama Orders Air Marshal Surge by Feb. 1: 'Race Against Time'
ABC News, Anna Schecter & Brian Ross, 1/6/10



Photos: Paradise on the Maldives
LA Times, Sally Tagg

Darwin Awards

I in no way want to make light of the potential threat of airborne terrorism and I am thankful that both the underwear & shoe bomber were unsuccessful but I can't help wondering why both Richard Reid and Umar Farouk Abdulmutallab didn't detonate their devices in the airplane bathrooms.

The obvious joke would be that they both wanted to avoid the fine for tampering with the smoke detectors.



The stupidity of Reid and Abdulmutallab along with the heroism of their fellow passengers is the only thing that prevented tragedy.

"The worm has definitely turned for you man."

Hanes drops ads featuring Charlie Sheen

Hanesbrands has ended its advertising campaign featuring Charlie Sheen because of domestic violence charges filed against the actor, a company spokesman said Wednesday.

The "Two and a Half Men" star was arrested in Aspen, Colo., on Christmas Day on charges including felony menacing and domestic violence. His wife Brooke Sheen told police he put a knife to her throat and threatened to kill her. Sheen denies the allegations.

Really Hanes, accusations of domestic violence send you running but hookers & amyls didn't?

Playboy Interview: Charlie Sheen
June 2001

PLAYBOY: Is it true you and a friend took a World Sex Tour?

SHEEN: [Laughs] Which one?

PLAYBOY: Amsterdam. You and he did separate sides of a red-light-district street.

SHEEN: Yeah. Me and Jo-Jo [chuckles]. We set a goal for the one night, and we hit it. Ten each. He took one side of the canal, I took the other. Little single rooms, with women sitting in the windows. You walk up, look through the window, go inside, they pull the curtain and, you know. We left there very tired.

PLAYBOY: How did you manage to maintain your stamina?

SHEEN: I was doing a lot of amyl at the time, and that tends to get the sex thing going. Amyl and Heineken: the Amsterdam combination. Jesus, what a nightmare. You can stay hard, but you're shooting blanks after a while. Then it becomes about approaching the number. We said 10 each and you're on eight, and you're going, I need some fucking pasta or steak or something. Fuck it: Heineken, amyl—that's my dinner. Then you get to nine. We didn't want to leave there saying, "We got 17 but we aimed for 20." It was ridiculous.

The entire clip is excellent but Tracks of My Tears kicks in at the 6:40 mark, if that's what you're looking for.

Who knew there were Platoon dolls?

All Thumbs

How did the Red Sox not know Lowell needed thumb surgery?

Red Sox assistant GM Ben Cherington appeared on Sirius XM's MLB Home Plate channel today with Holden Kushner and Jim Duquette and talked about the Mike Lowell situation.

And even at the end of the playoffs, in our exit physical, he barely made mention of it," Cherington said.

He's been a big part of our team for the last several years and the trade, as we talked to Texas, it wasn't about not wanting Mike Lowell. It was about possibly making a move to get a player we liked back and give us a little bit of financial flexibility to do some other things.

The Red Sox season ended in October. There's no excuse for not figuring out that Lowell's thumb would require surgery until December. Now Lowell's recovery is two months behind.

Riiiight, it wasn't about not wanting Mike Lowell. You were going to eat 9 million of his 12 million dollar salary in 2010, in return for a minor league catcher who hit .217 in 46 major league at bats last season. Who are you trying to kid Cherington?


Lowell preferred to have thumb surgery in October
Boston Globe, 12/22/09

Red Sox third baseman Mike Lowell spoke to WEEI's Rob Bradford yesterday and offered details surrounding his thumb injury that ultimately led to the Rangers canceling a trade that would have sent Lowell to Texas in exchange for minor league catcher Max Ramirez.

. . . he disputed the Red Sox assertion that the injury wasn't discussed in the team's end of season exit interview.